Undocked Sine's Life (Censored)

The water in my home is out. I keep on having dreams where I turn on the tap and find running water, I then get excited & then I wake up.      My *** says that we'll be getting money this month & we'll have the water fixed by then.      While I am Agendered, I do lean more to female than I do male. I feel that I don't identify as male or female because I don't fit in with either group, that and I feel that calling myself "male" or "female" gives people the wrong idea of me, kinda like how people assume that you're homophobic if you call yourself a "Christian". I do wanna transition, but I can't, My *** & ******* get upset when I do. I once wore gaff panties, they got pissed because the design had camel toe on the front to better hide. I feel that they feel that trans women are a mockery of cis women. They've been saying misandristic and transphobic things lately. I told my *** that I am agendered, just she said that ...

Things are weird. I recently bought more weed & movies. The well to my Domicile broke, & my grandmother and mother is getting it fixed.       Some ******** have been stressed & taking it out on me. My ****** keeps on saying things in a snobbish tone when I'm in an argument with my *******, & when I call her out on it my ******* defends her. I keep myself occupied with Games, Weed, Movies, Pornography, Social Media, Talking with others, & Sleep. I can't help but feel that something is coming, & in some ways it'll be both extremely good & extremely bad.      The other day I had notice my cousin working as a cashier & my other cousin and Aunt in another line. I couldn't help but notice how withered they look. It's sad, it's scary. The cashier is younger than me & she is aging quickly. I can't help but to feel like this after noticing these things: ( How I Feel After Noticing my Withered ******** ) a change is coming, ...

It's currently 5:30AM. I find it hard to sleep due to my memories constantly reminding me of the hell that I endured.      Looking back on it, I realize that it wasn't often that I was met with physical violence, but it wasn't never either. I do however realize how people felt freely about laying their hands on me, not out of violence but rather intimidation. I still remember when my ******'s ********'s (at the time) ******* stayed in my room. I was talking to my ********** & he assumed that I was talking to him, so he grabbed me by my shirt and slammed me against the wall, he said that the next time I said any of that "gay shit" that he'd break my nose. He even kicked me out of my room that night. I also remember, how I was kicked out of my room to accommodate my *******'s alky *******. I still remember sleeping on the couch with a thin knitted blanket during Christmas time, trying to get myself warm enough to fall asleep.          ...

Even after sleep, I still feel tired. I assume it's due to my misery that is caused by others. I don't just wanna exist, I wanna live, but don't get me wrong, I have no interest in traveling or socializing.      If the end times arrived at this very moment, and if only good people were saved from it's wrath, then I believe that at the very least 80% of humanity on Earth will be left behind. Speaking from experience, the majority of the human race are the type to not hesitate or flinch when condemning others, but they'd rather die than take responsibility for their own actions.      In my opinion using words like "human", "humanity", & "people", is an extreme overstatement, one can only be human if they themselves are capable of expressing humanity, & anyone who enjoys hurting the innocent to make themselves feel better aren't people, they're abominations.      The main difference between a monster and a predator is that ...