12/02/2024
It's currently 5:30AM. I find it hard to sleep due to my memories constantly reminding me of the hell that I endured.
Looking back on it, I realize that it wasn't often that I was met with physical violence, but it wasn't never either. I do however realize how people felt freely about laying their hands on me, not out of violence but rather intimidation. I still remember when my ******'s ********'s (at the time) ******* stayed in my room. I was talking to my ********** & he assumed that I was talking to him, so he grabbed me by my shirt and slammed me against the wall, he said that the next time I said any of that "gay shit" that he'd break my nose. He even kicked me out of my room that night. I also remember, how I was kicked out of my room to accommodate my *******'s alky *******. I still remember sleeping on the couch with a thin knitted blanket during Christmas time, trying to get myself warm enough to fall asleep.
Whenever I talk about these things my *********** just says "it's in the past, let it go,", if I'm having moments in my waking life where I am vividly remembering the past, then it isn't exactly in the past. I wanna do good in this world, but I can't shake the feeling of wanting to hurt people the way they hurt me, but I refuse to be that person.
-Stay Classy